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Dating & Relationships: The Experts, The Studies, The Numbers, and What You Should Do About It

Top 10 Experts on Dating & Relationships - Here's what They Say:

  1. Esther Perel:

  • Infidelity can occur in happy relationships as a result of unmet needs or a desire for self-discovery.

  • In order to have a successful long-term relationship, both partners must be willing to work on themselves as individuals.

  • Communication is key in any relationship, and couples should focus on improving their communication skills in order to deepen their connection.

  1. John Gottman:

  • The presence of contempt in a relationship is a strong predictor of its failure.

  • The ratio of positive to negative interactions in a relationship should be 5:1.

  • Repair attempts, or small gestures made to de-escalate conflict, are crucial for relationship success.

  1. Sue Johnson:

  • Emotional attachment is a fundamental human need and is key to healthy relationships.

  • In order to create a strong emotional bond, couples must be vulnerable and share their deepest fears and hopes.

  • Secure attachment, or feeling safe and connected with one's partner, is essential for relationship satisfaction.

  1. Dan Savage:

  • Sexual compatibility is important in a relationship, but it is not the most important factor.

  • Honesty, trust, and mutual respect are crucial for a healthy relationship.

  • Partners should be willing to compromise and adapt to each other's needs in order to maintain a successful relationship.

  1. Helen Fisher:

  • Romantic love is a complex emotion that involves the activation of various regions of the brain.

  • There are three different brain systems that underlie romantic love: lust, attraction, and attachment.

  • Each individual has a unique love type that is determined by their brain chemistry and personality.

  1. Gary Chapman:

  • People express and receive love in different ways, and understanding your partner's love language is crucial for relationship success.

  • The five love languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

  • Couples should make an effort to speak their partner's love language in order to strengthen their emotional connection.

  1. Esther Hicks:

  • Relationships should be based on mutual respect, trust, and understanding.

  • Focusing on the positive aspects of your partner and your relationship can lead to increased satisfaction and happiness.

  • Cultivating a sense of gratitude for your partner and your relationship can help to maintain a strong connection over time.

  1. Mark Manson:

  • Authenticity and vulnerability are essential for a successful relationship.

  • In order to build a deep connection with someone, you must be willing to let go of your fears and insecurities and be open to the possibility of being hurt.

  • Relationships require effort and work, but they can also be a source of great joy and fulfillment.

  1. Brene Brown:

  • Vulnerability is the key to emotional connection and intimacy.

  • Shame and fear of vulnerability can prevent people from forming meaningful relationships.

  • Cultivating self-compassion and empathy can help individuals to overcome their fears and build stronger connections with others.

  1. Justin Garcia:

  • Technology has had a significant impact on dating and relationships, changing the way people meet and interact.

  • Hookup culture is a prevalent aspect of modern dating, but it is not necessarily harmful or indicative of a lack of commitment.

  • The desire for both intimacy and freedom is a common conflict in modern relationships.

Top 5 Largest Studies on Dating & Relationships - By the Numbers

There have been numerous research studies on dating and relationships over the years, and here are some of the largest ones and their key findings:

  1. National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB): This study surveyed over 5,000 American adults aged 14-94 on their sexual behaviors, attitudes, and health. Key findings include:

  • Over 80% of respondents had sex before age 20.

  • Nearly 50% of men and women reported masturbating in the past month.

  • Only 59% of women reported having an orgasm during their last sexual encounter compared to 85% of men.

  1. How Couples Meet and Stay Together (HCMST): This study surveyed over 4,000 American adults who were in a romantic relationship at the time of the survey. Key findings include:

  • The most common way for couples to meet was through online dating (30%), followed by meeting through mutual friends (19%) and at work/school (11%).

  • The average length of a relationship before marriage was 3.5 years.

  • Couples who met online were more likely to have a diverse range of backgrounds and education levels than those who met in other ways.

  1. Marriage and Family Life Survey (MAFLS): This study surveyed over 11,000 married individuals in the U.S. on various aspects of their relationship and family life. Key findings include:

  • 92% of respondents reported being either "very happy" or "quite happy" with their marriage.

  • The most important factors for a happy marriage were identified as communication, love, and trust.

  • Women were more likely to report being responsible for household tasks and childcare than men.

  1. The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (Add Health): This study followed over 20,000 American adolescents from middle school to young adulthood to study various aspects of their health and well-being, including romantic relationships. Key findings include:

  • Adolescents who had strong parental relationships were more likely to have positive romantic relationships in young adulthood.

  • Being in a romantic relationship in adolescence was associated with higher levels of depression and lower academic achievement.

  • Adolescents who experienced dating violence were more likely to engage in risky behaviors such as substance abuse and sexual risk-taking.

  1. Global Dating Insights: This is a website that provides news, data, and insights into the online dating industry. Some key statistics include:

  • The global online dating market is projected to reach $3.2 billion by 2025.

  • In the U.S., 30% of adults have used an online dating app or website.

  • The most popular dating app in the world is Tinder, with over 57 million monthly active users.

What You Can Do About It

Finding and maintaining a successful relationship can be a challenge, but with the right skills and strategies, it is possible to find your ideal partner and build a lasting, fulfilling relationship. Here are the top tips from experts and studies to help millennials find and maintain a successful relationship.

  1. Determine your values and priorities: Before searching for a partner, take the time to understand what is important to you in a relationship. Determine your values and priorities and use them as a guide when choosing a partner.

  2. Communication: Communication is one of the most important factors in a successful relationship. Be honest and open with your partner, and learn to listen actively. Avoid blame and criticism, and instead, focus on finding solutions to problems.

  3. Develop emotional intelligence: Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions and those of others. By developing your emotional intelligence, you can better understand your partner's needs and feelings, and strengthen your relationship.

  4. Practice forgiveness: Forgiveness is essential in any relationship, as conflicts and mistakes are inevitable. Learn to forgive your partner and yourself, and work together to move past disagreements and conflicts.

  5. Seek professional help: If you are struggling with relationship issues, seek professional help. A licensed therapist or counselor can provide valuable guidance and support to help you navigate challenging times in your relationship.

  6. Prioritize quality time: Spend quality time with your partner, whether it's a date night or a weekend getaway. Quality time helps to strengthen your bond and build a deeper connection with your partner.

  7. Embrace vulnerability: Vulnerability is the key to building intimacy in a relationship. Be willing to share your thoughts, feelings, and fears with your partner, and allow them to do the same.

  8. Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential to building a successful relationship. Make time for hobbies, exercise, and other activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Overall, successful relationships are based on several key factors, including compatibility, communication, trust, and commitment. By following these tips and strategies, millennials can find and maintain a successful relationship that brings them happiness and fulfillment. Remember to stay true to your values and priorities, prioritize communication and emotional intelligence, and seek professional help when needed.

Need Some Help Getting Back On Track?

As a qualified life coach and a mental health advocate, Constantine Dhonau has helped numerous millennial couples maintain healthy and sustainable relationships. He understands that relationships can be challenging to maintain due to screen addiction, unlimited alternatives, social comparison, a culture of disposability, instant gratification, and more. Here are some ways Constantine can help you and your relationship:

  1. Positive Psychology and Positive Intelligence™ - Constantine uses positive psychology and Positive Intelligence™ techniques to help couples develop resilience, focus on their strengths, and cultivate a positive mindset, which is essential for a healthy and sustainable relationship.

  2. Communication skills - Communication is key in any relationship, and Constantine can help couples learn how to communicate effectively and actively listen to one another. By learning how to communicate, couples can resolve conflicts and misunderstandings and build a deeper connection.

  3. Self-Compassion - Constantine can teach couples how to practice self-compassion, which is crucial for a healthy relationship. Self-compassion helps individuals be kind to themselves and their partners, leading to better self-esteem, less stress, and a more fulfilling relationship.

  4. Mindfulness Meditation - Constantine can teach couples how to practice mindfulness meditation to reduce stress, enhance empathy, and deepen their connection with one another. Research has shown that mindfulness can improve relationship satisfaction and decrease divorce rates.

By working with Constantine, you'll have access to a customized coaching program tailored to your specific needs and goals. Whether you're struggling with trust issues, feeling disconnected, or facing major life changes, Constantine can help you find the solutions you need to move forward together.

With a focus on Positive Intelligence™, Relationships, Self-Compassion, Change, Spirituality, Motivation, and Daily Habits, Constantine offers a holistic approach to coaching that addresses every aspect of your relationship. He combines evidence-based methods with his own personal experience to create a powerful coaching experience that will help you and your partner thrive. Constantine is LGBTQIA+ friendly. He presented his thesis research on Self-Compassion in LGBTQIA+ Individuals at Columbia University after successfully defending his undergraduate dissertation.

Don't wait to invest in your relationship. Book a coaching session with Constantine today and start building the foundation for a lifetime of love and happiness.

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